A comprehensive compilation of key teachings, mindset shifts, and practical applications from Joshua Roy's coaching sessions
Explore LessonsEssential teachings from transformative coaching sessions
Strategic one-on-one coaching session focused on navigating a major career and financial disruption. The core theme was shifting from a state of stress and powerlessness to one of proactive control and resilience by identifying and acting upon the only two things we can ever truly change: our perception and our procedure.
"There are only two things you can change: your perception or your procedure. The way you think about it or what you actually do."
"Sometimes we fall, we trip, we stumble, but... you roll back into the next opportunity. It's just a different perspective."
"I'd take that any day of the week and twice on Sunday rather than what others... are going through." (On using comparative reframing)
"What's the worst that could happen as a result of this?" (A question to initiate perspective shift)
"It's all these tools that we've got that not everyone has."
Coaching review and strategy session focused on transforming personal growth into tangible life results. The core theme was strategic life creation: moving from internal work (confidence, self-worth, health) to externally manifesting a major life goal—specifically, a healthy, happy romantic relationship leading to family. The lesson centered on using visioning techniques and understanding relationship dynamics to build a desired future intentionally.
"Everything we do in life, we do twice. We do it first in our imagination, and then we do it in reality."
"The healthiest relationships are interdependent."
"You just eventually... open your eyes in the morning and you just feel good for no good reason."
"When your unconscious mind is engaged, it becomes more effortless and easier."
(On self-care) "It's a good habit and pattern for your life... If you take good care of yourself... you'll continue to take good care of yourself."
Deep exploration into the hidden psychological drivers—termed "Shadow Values"—that surface during times of extreme stress, overwhelm, and unmet expectations. Using a client's experience of an exhausting, unsupported 16-hour workday, the lesson taught how to diagnose these hidden motivators to understand patterns of resentment, self-protection, and coping mechanisms. The core theme is that our breakdowns and coping fictions are not failures, but rich data pointing to our deepest values and unmet needs.
"It's not only when good things happen that we find out about ourselves. Sometimes when we go through a difficulty... we can discover more about ourselves."
"A shadow value is a value that lies in the wake of somebody's success."
"Think of a speedboat... when it's coming straight towards you, you cannot see the wake. And so what we do in life is we don't readily admit to our shadow values."
"You wouldn't go around telling people... 'I'm very righteous.' You would just live a certain way."
"A problem well stated, is a problem half solved."
Deep dive into the root cause of feeling "stuck" despite hard work and goal-setting. Joshua moved beyond surface-level mindset tools to explain how our childhood imprinting (ages 0-7) creates unconscious survival patterns that sabotage adult success. The core teaching was that lasting change and forward momentum come not from more effort, but from healing the inner child—re-imprinting early neural pathways with joy and safety to cut the "anchor" holding us back.
"Do the job interview ten times, twenty times in your imagination. Do the repetitions, do the rehearsal... Everything you do twice, once in your imagination and the second time in reality."
"Your childhood is ruling your life. Your childhood trauma, your childhood rejection, your childhood hurt... It's ruling your life."
"Your unconscious mind lacks foresight, it lacks forward thinking. It lacks vision... The main function is to keep your life, keep your heart beating, keep you breathing, and keep you alive for the next 24 hours. That's it."
"We're looking for these timeless truths, things that don't change. If it worked yesterday, it works today, it works forever."
"Healing the inner child helped me to forgive, and it helped me to look at what my ex-wife did not with anger, but with gratitude and hindsight."
Real results from applying these coaching principles
"My mindset was stuck in a cycle of rumination and blame. A business partner's actions had left me in significant, life-changing debt. For about a year and a half, I kept revisiting the past, the injustice, and the financial stress. It was a heavy burden that colored each day. In my personal relationship, I also found myself blaming my husband for 'pretty much anything and everything.' I knew these patterns were holding me back, but I felt trapped by the emotions."
Joshua introduced the concept of "Blaming Deliberately." Instead of focusing on what was wrong and what I had lost, he challenged me to reframe it: to blame the person for what was right and what I had gained from the experience. We worked through a process where I identified the growth that came from the hardship—like increased resilience and the hard-won ability to live in the present moment instead of ruminating. I also applied the emotional awareness techniques to my marriage, recognizing the toxic cycle of blame I was in.
The shift has been profound. Regarding the financial betrayal, I can now say: "I thank him for making me work through it so that I don't have to keep revisiting it." I've developed a 90% increase in resilience. The constant rumination has drastically reduced, and I'm making a conscious decision to live in the present. In my marriage, simply understanding the dynamic of blame has opened the door to change. The process gave me a tool to disarm my own negative emotions and see the situation, and myself, differently. I'm moving from a state of frustration to one of proactive problem-solving and personal responsibility.
Transformative perspective changes that create lasting change
A job loss or setback is reframed not as a pure failure but as a "fall forward"—a stumble that propels you toward the next opportunity if you choose the right perspective.
Instead of viewing a problem in isolation, actively compare it to a drastically worse (real or imagined) situation. This shrinks the problem's emotional weight and creates mental space for a solution.
Viewing coaching or training not as a pure expense, but as a tax-deductible investment in career advancement, better income management, and overall life performance.
Letting go of the futile attempt to change other people or past events, and redirecting all energy toward the two things you can control: your internal narrative and your next move.
Reframe "losing weight" to "gaining slimness." The unconscious mind prefers gaining.
Attraction isn't about needing someone to complete you, but about having the confidence that comes from self-knowledge and wholeness, which is inherently attractive.
A happy relationship isn't just found by luck; it can be consciously manifested and prepared for by doing internal work and strategic visioning.
A heavy emotional cry is not just a release of stress; it's a signpost pointing to a violated core expectation and a hidden Shadow Value.
How to apply these teachings in your daily life
When facing a challenge, pause and ask: "What is one way I can change my perception (thought/belief) about this?" and "What is one procedure (small action) I can change or take?"
Write down your fear. Then, ask the comparative question: "What's a much worse scenario, real or fictional?" This practice builds immediate resilience.
Review any personal or professional development you're considering. Frame it strategically: "How does this directly relate to my ability to perform, lead, or earn in my current or future role?" This clarifies its value and potential financial benefit.
For a current goal, use the sequence: Goal → Strategy (Plan) → Action. Dedicate focused time (e.g., "half a Sunday a month") to work on this plan, not just in your daily reactions.
Identify one major goal. Close your eyes and construct a vivid, sensory-rich scene of it already achieved. Who's there? What do you feel? See? Hear?
Reflect on your relationship patterns. Are you leaning toward codependence, independence, or interdependence? What one action could move you toward healthier interdependence?
Apply these lessons with personalized coaching
These key lessons are just a sample of the transformative work we do in coaching sessions. To experience personalized application and breakthrough results, book a free strategy session.
